Friendships are one of the most treasured things in life and developing on with your child can be deeply fulfilling. There are different parenting styles, from free-range parenting to authoritative parenting, but at the heart of it, it is important that you are their constant source of support and that they enjoy spending time with you. While it’s important to be friends with your child, it’s also important, as a parent, to nurture them into considerate, empathetic individuals by being their moral compass to nurture them into considerate, empathetic individuals by being their moral compass. By doing so, they are more inclined to make good decisions as adults. Find out how you can be both a friend and a guardian to your little ones.
The importance of friendship in parenting
Firstly we begin by defining friendship. What is it? And why is it important that parents are friends to their children? According to Britannica, friendship is defined as a state of enduring affection, esteem, intimacy and trust between two individuals. When parents spend time with their children, playing with them frequently, planning outdoor activities, taking them on holidays, seeking to understand them and have fun together – it builds the foundation of connection and a close relationship.
Longitudinal studies show that children who are brought up in a warm, supportive and empathetic household are less likely to resort to antisocial behaviour in their teenage years. In establishing an environment of joy, closeness and trust, you also nurture confident children who will willingly come to you when they need support or are faced with adversities and challenges. By forging that bond early, parents are setting the stage for the later phases in a child’s life, from pre-teens to teenage hood, and later, adulthood.
Finding a balance
What makes the friendship between parent and child differ, however, is the levels of authority involved. While friendships between two people are egalitarian, a parent holds the power in a parent-child relationship. It’s never a good idea to relinquish your authority, and becoming overly friendly with your child. It can spell trouble if you care too much about being liked by your child and eventually admonishing certain ground rules when they do something wrong.
In a permissive parenting style, parents may set rules, but they do not enforce them. With this method of upbringing, children do not have any consideration for rules or authority. Research has shown that in households where parents are permissive, children and adolescents are more likely to be involved in problem behaviour and perform less well in school.
Instead, adopt an authoritative style of parenting, where you emphasise creating a positive relationship with your child, enforce rules, and provide a rationale for each one. This means saying “no” even if it means being disliked by your child, while still considering their feelings. Gradually build trust and earn respect from your child.
How to be your child’s friend
A study by Jeffrey Hall found that investing in quality time is the foundation for building a friendship. Mere proximity and physical presence does not automatically translate to a close relationship. To form a deep relationship with your child, developing a shared interest for a hobby or activity, like cycling or hiking – could mean a lifelong activity you could do together. Try baking and cooking together regularly; not only do you spend a lot of time together, but your child learns about nutrition, numeracy, comprehension and collaboration. Schedule visits to the library frequently, so you can discover the love of reading together with them.
Be your little Child’s first friend
Being a parent is a complex role, requiring you to be a friend to form a close bond, simultaneously taking on the role of a disciplinarian when the need arises. When raising children, work towards the ultimate goal of being supportive and attuned to your child’s unique needs, allowing them to exert their individuality and guiding them towards the moral path.
MindChamps provides a premium early childhood experience, designing a curriculum that inculcates the five core values of Heart, Integrity, Prosperity, Growth and Expansion. Speak to someone from our team at MindChamps to learn more about our pedagogy.